Polyfidelity

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Parrot polyamory mascot

Polyfidelity is a form of non-monogamy where all members are considered equal partners and agree to restrict sexual and romantic activities to only other members of the group. The concept of polyfidelity was first popularized by the Kerista Commune, a communal living arrangement that existed in San Francisco from the 1970s to the 1990s. Polyfidelity is a subset of polyamory, a broader term that encompasses many forms of multiple partner relationships, including open relationships, swinging, and solo polyamory.

Definition and Characteristics

Polyfidelity typically involves a closed polyamorous relationship where all members are committed to each other equally. Unlike an open relationship, where partners may have romantic or sexual relationships with people outside the relationship, polyfidelity requires exclusivity among the group members. This exclusivity can be seen as a middle ground between monogamy and more open forms of non-monogamy.

Members of a polyfidelitous relationship may all live together, or they may live in separate households but consider themselves a single family unit. The size of these groups can vary, from small triads (three people) to larger groups. Key characteristics of polyfidelity include shared values, mutual respect, and often, a shared life plan or vision.

Challenges and Considerations

One of the main challenges in polyfidelitous relationships is managing jealousy and ensuring that all members feel valued and included. Communication is crucial in these relationships, as is the case with all forms of polyamory. Members must navigate the complexities of multiple relationships, including managing time, emotional investment, and the logistics of daily life.

Another consideration is the legal and social recognition of polyfidelitous relationships. Currently, most legal systems do not recognize multiple partner relationships, which can lead to complications in areas such as parental rights, inheritance, and hospital visitation rights.

Community and Culture

The polyfidelity community, while smaller than the broader polyamory community, has its own culture and networks. There are online forums, social media groups, and meetups that cater specifically to those interested in or currently practicing polyfidelity. These spaces provide support, advice, and camaraderie for individuals navigating polyfidelitous relationships.

Comparison with Other Forms of Non-Monogamy

Polyfidelity differs from other forms of non-monogamy in its emphasis on exclusivity within the group. In contrast, open relationships and swinging allow for sexual encounters outside the primary relationship, and relationship anarchy rejects hierarchical structures in relationships altogether. Polyfidelity's unique blend of exclusivity and multiple partnerships sets it apart within the spectrum of non-monogamous relationships.

Conclusion

Polyfidelity offers an alternative model for relationships, challenging traditional notions of monogamy and exclusivity. While it may not be suitable for everyone, it provides a framework for those seeking deep, committed relationships with multiple partners within a closed group. As society's understanding and acceptance of diverse relationship structures grow, polyfidelity continues to gain recognition as a valid and fulfilling way to form family units and romantic partnerships.

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